This is for the "working" mom's who are raising children at home or who have raised children at home, while maintaing a job.
I NEED HELP!
I woke up this morning feeling like a failure of a mom and wife when I looked around and saw how dusty/messy our house was. I need advice before #3 comes on how to schedule: work, laundry, house cleaning, dishes (without a dishwasher), cooking or at least providing dinner, bathing children, hanging up laundry and still having time to spend with my husband and children after work and on the weekends. When do you do all of these things? How do you fit them in when both parents work? What is a sample schedule? Do I need a maid every other week? Do I do laundry every day? When do I do it? Early in the morning or after work?
I badly need advice because my brain does not naturally think "organization". I'm going to have to be deliberate about it and make good use of my time and I don't want to give up quality time with my family.
(One thing that will help is going part time in January) But until then, I need to start practicing.
Kim? Shari? Sally? Advice??
Thursday, July 30, 2009
HELP!
Posted by Melissa at 10:58:00 AM
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11 comments:
I hear you loud and clear...it's definitely a challenge for all of us!!! YES to getting somebody help you clean the house!!!!:) that's a biggy and will be so nice to come home to a clean house that you didn't clean!!!!:) jess is old enough to help with chores, so i'd let her help! i have g & j help me put away dishes, clean up their own plates from all meals, wipe off the table, collect trash from the cans around the house and am really working on them cleaning up their areas after they play...still working on this one!!!:) yes, i do laundry all the time...but then again, everybody puts up their own clothes & they help fold the ones they can. i find it more bearable to put a load in daily than to let it pile up, this also frees up family time on the week ends and at night.
anyways, i hope this helps & feel free to share with me any of your suggestions as i feel way behind the 8 ball on most days myself!!!! i will probably ask God when i get to heaven, so why did you just make mom's with 2 arms???hehehehe...love you & know you are NOT alone!!!
Such great advice. I think I need to take advantage of having two children and getting them to help. It's not that they are asked to help and dont, I don't ask them. But I should.
I have been told by three different working moms today that I absolutely have to hire a maid for at least every other week. I think I'd like to cut back on something else so that I can do this.
I'll be in line with you asking God the same question! Thanks so much for the advice!
One of the things I have always admired about Kim is the way her family of 6 always pitched in to help. (I don't know anyone who works any harder than she does.) Those kids were independent by age 6. One mistake I think your mom would be the first to tell you is that often she would do things herself so it would get done "right." That's a perfectionist for you. If the kids make up their beds, and there are rumpled sheets under the bedspread--leave it alone. It'll get better the more often they do it. One last piece of advice from a great grandmother for 10 years now, the laundry, cooking, and housecleaning will be around long after the children are gone from home. I love you, and you and Nate are doing of GREAT job of spending quality time with your girls.
Okay, you already know how I did things, but here is advice anyway! I remember that Randa got her kids to do their own laundry as soon as they were old enough (I was so impressed with that). She would also take one day out of the week and spend the whole day cooking the next week's meals. Then she would freeze them and each day just pull a meal out of the freezer. She probably actually saved money that way, too. Since Jessica loves to cook, it could really be a fun time for the two of you to do it together. Cleaning the kitchen after meals should be a team effort! If you can cut out some other things and have your house cleaned every other week, then all you really need to do is "straighten" it up each day. I agree with Shari as far as doing loads of clothes more often, and put them up as soon as they are done. Have each person put up their own (Ava might need a little help at first)! Melissa, I am amazed at all that you accomplish with your family and all of the other responsibilities you have! Your home is an "open door" to so many people! You are smart to ask others for tips on how to get things done, and I bet you get some great responses!
First of all, definitely get help from other members of your family including Nate. Since he is home a lot during the day, he really needs to help is this endeavor. Also if you straighten things up each day, then it doesn't get too overwhelming. I put up laundry every time I do it. As soon as the dryer needs emptying to put more clothes in, then that load gets put up immediately. The house does not have to be spotlessly clean!!! If it is just straight, it will look clean!
P.S. You do a great job, Melissa, with everything going on in your life.
Nate really does do SO much but we both are so busy we just get behind and then it's hard to catch back up.
I appreciate all of the advice...I've gotten some really good tips and have some great ideas on how to manage all of this!
Obviously I'm not qualified to give advise on this subject, but I do remember the words "do it yourself" and "Well...what are you going to do about it" coming out of Mom's mouth quite often. She even called me "mentally retarded" one time b/c I was not sweeping the kitchen up to her standards.
I also remember dreading Sundays b/c they were "clean the house" days. Mom would set a kitchen timer for 2 hours and then she would print a checklist off the computer of all the things that needed to be cleaned. We would be finished at the later of 2 hours or the list being checked off. My secret, which I kept until I went to college, was that I never really dusted (that was my chore every week). I simply spayed pledge into the fans and let the smell circulate each room. I got away with it for 18 years!
We also did alot of "cleaning" right before Mom got home from work. That was before cell phones so it was always an educated guess when she would arrive. It's amazing how much you can "clean" from the time someone saw her coming around the coner to the time she walked into the house.
All that said it was amazing to see how much Mom accomplished or scared us into accomplishing. The good part about a big family is that you have lots of hands to help and everyone understands that one person can't do everything.
Tyler...this might be my favorite post ever.
Okay.... I just read all the posts and to tell you the truth I don't have any specific advice because I can't remember any of it!!! It may be b/c I am just too old and I have forgotten, I was too tired back then to remember or I have blocked it from my memory entirely. I do remember fantasizing about having a clean house for longer than 5 minutes, having a Farris Wheel for a dryer, having a full time maid, reading a book without falling asleep after the second page or taking a long leisurely bath without worrying about wasting time.
Tyler, I DO remember coming home and finding the house clean and feeling loved and appreciated. In the book the "5 love languages" - the way I felt loved was through acts of service. Thanks.
By the way Sunday was MY Favorite day of the week--- the house looked and smelled clean!!! And Sunday dinner was "every man for themselves"
Melissa,
I'm not sure that I am the best one to ask since I have only been at this for 8 weeks...and have not gone back to work yet (August 27th...Boo!). I think that I have told you before that the FlyLady system...or at least her principles...work for me. It is all about jumping in where you are and not getting overwhelmed that nohting is done. Having daily routines that you do in the morning and at night to keep you organized, keeping up with laundry daily, and doing simple things to have dinner on the table (when you cook a meal, make enough for two and freeze the extra for later), etc.
You are a wonderful mom and wife and Miss Betsy is going to be so blessed to be born into a WONDERFUL family with amazing parents and sisters!!! Jenna has grown so much since you last saw her...you must visit again :)
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